Golthine Gettinwood
01-27-2006, 04:14 AM
Thanks to Meadbh on Inny for these!!
Someone really broke the NDA on this one! Enjoy, the top secret PoR AA's SoE doesn't want you to know about!
All Classes
Skeletons of Ak’Anon
This ability digs up dirt with which you can blackmail the gnomes into giving you lower prices on aug solvents, portal stones and soulstones.
Texas Chainsaw Facelift
This ability allows you to grow the 49 ears, 117 fingers and 81 waists the DoDh itemizers seem to think we have.
Norath Pay ‘n’ Spray
This ability replaces “gems” with the latest version of GTA so you’ll have something entertaining to do while sitting in a “waiting” channel hoping somebody will leave a 54-person instance.
Bane of Magic the Gathering
Activating this ability prevents SOE from putting out another expansion when you’ve barely scraped the surface of the last one.
Portal to Yesteryear
Activating this ability allows you to gate to Plane of Mischief before the revamp. You know, back when it was fun.
Innate See Stupidity
This ability allows you to avoid inviting that person who’ll wipe your group in ways that stagger the imagination.
Ear Identification
This ability reroutes tells to the one toon a multi-boxer is actually paying attention to.
Precaution of the Big Top
This ability allows you to throw up a safety net to catch that player who always falls and dies moments after zoning into Stoneroot.
Heckler’s Haven
This ability temporarily renders your guild tag unremovable, allowing you to safely ridicule officers.
Musical Fruit
This ability allows you to fart bubbles in the guild hot tub.
Bulwark of Futility
This ability prevents you from wasting time asking for buffs from that one player who’s never, ever, at the keyboard.
Restrictive Real Estate
This ability locks target character into a death loop until they stop following a one-word post with a foot-long signature.
Blessing of Stuart Smalley
This ability allows you to feel okay about replacing the friend who’s been link dead for over an hour.
BRD
Sycophants of Stone
This ability adds adoring comments to your gargoyle pets. The first rank supplies moderate compliments like, “That wasn’t a totally bad pull.” Increasing ranks of this ability raise the intensity of adulation all the way to, “We’d crawl fifteen miles over broken glass just to sniff the tire tread of the truck that took your dirty underwear to the laundry.”
Placeboic Chorus
This ability places a fake Elemental Chorus or Purifying Chorus icon in people’s song boxes so they don’t bitch at you for not wasting a spot in your twist while fighting mobs with unresistible AEs.
BER
Avienda’s Axe of Def Leppard
This ability allows you to throw Steve Clark’s guitar.
BST
Territorial Rights
This ability allows your warder to urinate on all of your camp’s mobs, thereby marking them as yours.
CLR
Reduction of Delay
This ability gives you a one-hour fixed duration invis, and levitate, and SoW, and creates a glowing path to the group/raid. Second rank saves even more time by killing you instantly and moving your corpse to the feet of the nearest group/guild rogue.
DRU
Dear Penthouse
This ability allows you to date the dryad from your epic 1.5 Kithicor fight.
ENC
Beguilement of STD
This ability makes your virus mez transmittable by cyber.
MAG
Mel Gibson’s Leporadaic Prestidigitation
This ability allows you to pull a rabbit out of an asshat. Second rank allows you to pull a Volkswagon Rabbit out of the same asshat, causing significantly more tissue damage.
MNK
Props of the Dragon
This ability makes your weapons look like nunchuks. Second rank prevents you from hitting yourself in the face with them.
NEC
Visage of the Supermodel
This is just the same old skelly illusion, but we gave it a new name.
PAL
Spay Undead
This ability prevents zombies from reproducing.
RNG
William Tell’s Fruition
This ability places an apple on your target’s head. Second rank places an Apple II-E there, causing the target to vanish in a puff of obsolescence.
ROG
Spirit of Jackie Robinson
This ability enhances your chances of stealing second base. Second rank gives you a better chance of getting to third base. Third rank creates a convenient window for you to jump out of when her husband shows up while you’re heading for home.
SHD
If I Only Had a Brain
This ability makes your pet behave like something other than a suicide bomber hyped up on methamphetamines.
SHM
Varied Diet
This ability allows you to eat someone else for a change.
WAR
Parity of Common Sense
This ability allows you to wield a Brutish Blade of Balance in your offhand.
WIZ
Sanctuary of Oz
This ability allows you to hide behind a little curtain while the mob attacks a big floating head.
Group Leader
Gift of Mulligan
This ability makes the 6th member of your group suddenly have to leave, so you can invite the person who logged in fourteen seconds after you’d filled the spot you were holding for them.
Raid Leader
Jacob’s Ladder
This ability summons ladders and scaffolding so the melee can hit the mob in the back, instead of in the ankle.
Someone really broke the NDA on this one! Enjoy, the top secret PoR AA's SoE doesn't want you to know about!
All Classes
Skeletons of Ak’Anon
This ability digs up dirt with which you can blackmail the gnomes into giving you lower prices on aug solvents, portal stones and soulstones.
Texas Chainsaw Facelift
This ability allows you to grow the 49 ears, 117 fingers and 81 waists the DoDh itemizers seem to think we have.
Norath Pay ‘n’ Spray
This ability replaces “gems” with the latest version of GTA so you’ll have something entertaining to do while sitting in a “waiting” channel hoping somebody will leave a 54-person instance.
Bane of Magic the Gathering
Activating this ability prevents SOE from putting out another expansion when you’ve barely scraped the surface of the last one.
Portal to Yesteryear
Activating this ability allows you to gate to Plane of Mischief before the revamp. You know, back when it was fun.
Innate See Stupidity
This ability allows you to avoid inviting that person who’ll wipe your group in ways that stagger the imagination.
Ear Identification
This ability reroutes tells to the one toon a multi-boxer is actually paying attention to.
Precaution of the Big Top
This ability allows you to throw up a safety net to catch that player who always falls and dies moments after zoning into Stoneroot.
Heckler’s Haven
This ability temporarily renders your guild tag unremovable, allowing you to safely ridicule officers.
Musical Fruit
This ability allows you to fart bubbles in the guild hot tub.
Bulwark of Futility
This ability prevents you from wasting time asking for buffs from that one player who’s never, ever, at the keyboard.
Restrictive Real Estate
This ability locks target character into a death loop until they stop following a one-word post with a foot-long signature.
Blessing of Stuart Smalley
This ability allows you to feel okay about replacing the friend who’s been link dead for over an hour.
BRD
Sycophants of Stone
This ability adds adoring comments to your gargoyle pets. The first rank supplies moderate compliments like, “That wasn’t a totally bad pull.” Increasing ranks of this ability raise the intensity of adulation all the way to, “We’d crawl fifteen miles over broken glass just to sniff the tire tread of the truck that took your dirty underwear to the laundry.”
Placeboic Chorus
This ability places a fake Elemental Chorus or Purifying Chorus icon in people’s song boxes so they don’t bitch at you for not wasting a spot in your twist while fighting mobs with unresistible AEs.
BER
Avienda’s Axe of Def Leppard
This ability allows you to throw Steve Clark’s guitar.
BST
Territorial Rights
This ability allows your warder to urinate on all of your camp’s mobs, thereby marking them as yours.
CLR
Reduction of Delay
This ability gives you a one-hour fixed duration invis, and levitate, and SoW, and creates a glowing path to the group/raid. Second rank saves even more time by killing you instantly and moving your corpse to the feet of the nearest group/guild rogue.
DRU
Dear Penthouse
This ability allows you to date the dryad from your epic 1.5 Kithicor fight.
ENC
Beguilement of STD
This ability makes your virus mez transmittable by cyber.
MAG
Mel Gibson’s Leporadaic Prestidigitation
This ability allows you to pull a rabbit out of an asshat. Second rank allows you to pull a Volkswagon Rabbit out of the same asshat, causing significantly more tissue damage.
MNK
Props of the Dragon
This ability makes your weapons look like nunchuks. Second rank prevents you from hitting yourself in the face with them.
NEC
Visage of the Supermodel
This is just the same old skelly illusion, but we gave it a new name.
PAL
Spay Undead
This ability prevents zombies from reproducing.
RNG
William Tell’s Fruition
This ability places an apple on your target’s head. Second rank places an Apple II-E there, causing the target to vanish in a puff of obsolescence.
ROG
Spirit of Jackie Robinson
This ability enhances your chances of stealing second base. Second rank gives you a better chance of getting to third base. Third rank creates a convenient window for you to jump out of when her husband shows up while you’re heading for home.
SHD
If I Only Had a Brain
This ability makes your pet behave like something other than a suicide bomber hyped up on methamphetamines.
SHM
Varied Diet
This ability allows you to eat someone else for a change.
WAR
Parity of Common Sense
This ability allows you to wield a Brutish Blade of Balance in your offhand.
WIZ
Sanctuary of Oz
This ability allows you to hide behind a little curtain while the mob attacks a big floating head.
Group Leader
Gift of Mulligan
This ability makes the 6th member of your group suddenly have to leave, so you can invite the person who logged in fourteen seconds after you’d filled the spot you were holding for them.
Raid Leader
Jacob’s Ladder
This ability summons ladders and scaffolding so the melee can hit the mob in the back, instead of in the ankle.