I have a new druid. Have only had the game for a month and have questions maybe someone could answer.

1.Why does everyone assume that you are in this game for RL "contacts"? I thought this was a game not a singles bar? I want real friends not people looking to take me home for a night. To all you guys out there can't we just play the game?

2. How can you know who is telling the truth and who is just "playing"? Peolpe seem to volunteer RL info but some, a lot, who knows how much seems to be just as fake as they are. Is it just my bad luck with people Ive met in the game so far or is it common that people are insincere. Honesty is it too much to ask?

3. Is it safe to assume that higher level toons, if they are not busy, would be the most helpful to a new player? Or is it better to learn with other new players and together grow in the game?

4. Sorry for the rants but I want to enjoy this game and am trying really hard to. Thanks in advance for any advice you all can give.

Does it matter?

That's the question I like to remember when people start telling me stories in game. Sure some of them are true and some are lying, but sooner or later you'll know enough to decide if any of it is real.

The impact of some 40 year old male pretending to be a Barbarian shamaness is nil, except in what they do to keep you alive in your group. Some 20 year old pretending to be a professional ball player is also nil, except for how their character works with mine to accomplish goals. If it is any consolation, the folks that hit on your toon spend most of their time hitting up men playing female toons. We really can’t be sure who is what so why worry about it?

In regards to 3; I'd generally try to make it on your own or with other newbies. I have done the occassional newbie intervention, or handed out sage advice, but nothing will teach you what you can do, and how to do it like just playing. Besides, if you get too much help from higher characters the waterwings stay on you well into the high levels and how they play may not be the ideal way for you to play. I'd definitly suggest making some friends and learning how to play the game togeather.

If you can't find real newbies, there is ususually a twink army running around every server. Find some of those and play with them regularly and you'll get the best of both worlds, a little high level help from time to time, and a regular leveling partner to learn the game with.

I'm babbling like my wife, I'll hush now. Must be some form of post count disease..

-Reidwen

I have a new druid. Have only had the game for a month and have questions maybe someone could answer.

1.Why does everyone assume that you are in this game for RL "contacts"? I thought this was a game not a singles bar? I want real friends not people looking to take me home for a night. To all you guys out there can't we just play the game?
Its not one sided. I met my current girlfriend of nine months on EQ /shrug

I have seen women go after married men even, and do considerable damage to their relationship (on both sides).


3. Is it safe to assume that higher level toons, if they are not busy, would be the most helpful to a new player? Or is it better to learn with other new players and together grow in the game?

It depends, when I am personally asked questions my answers seem to be very detailed on how the game actually functions, which sometimes works very well, or sometimes makes you wonder wth I am talking about - depending on the type of person you are.

-Fenier

One of my (straight male) friends ended up cybering another guy because both were pretending to be lesbians and played female toons. It was quite the entertainment when they both found out!

1.Why does everyone assume that you are in this game for RL "contacts"? I thought this was a game not a singles bar? I want real friends not people looking to take me home for a night. To all you guys out there can't we just play the game?
Firstly, EQ is a game mostly male. And as you can imagine those males are probably not the sexiest men in the world if they are sitting at home playing EQ all day and night. (My boyfriend excluded, cause he's just plain hot!) So, when they see a female toon, they hit on her. EQ qualifies as some peoples social life, so one would expect it to be only natural that they try and pick up women from time to time.

I met my boyfriend in Everquest and he is positively the most amazing person I have ever met.

2. How can you know who is telling the truth and who is just "playing"? Peolpe seem to volunteer RL info but some, a lot, who knows how much seems to be just as fake as they are. Is it just my bad luck with people Ive met in the game so far or is it common that people are insincere. Honesty is it too much to ask?

You can't know. You can either trust everyone or trust no one. I take the trust everyone approach until they prove untrustworthy. It is probably just bad luck on your part since the majority of folks I have met have turned out to be halfway decent. My worst drama comes from older women who gossip and back stab about things they know nothing about, more than from the men in Everquest.

3. Is it safe to assume that higher level toons, if they are not busy, would be the most helpful to a new player? Or is it better to learn with other new players and together grow in the game?
Generally, as long as you are asking for information and not plat or gear, I would assume most higher level toons would be very willing to help you out. I would. I will, however, tell anyone who asks me for plat to get lost. But if someone is asking questions, I generally talk to them, and even in some cases have ended up givnig them armor or plat for spells.

4. Sorry for the rants but I want to enjoy this game and am trying really hard to. Thanks in advance for any advice you all can give.
Don't be sorry! =) That is what EQ is there for... to enjoy it. I hope I helped even a little with your questions.

--Naeyene

You could always start an Iksar girl character. I never get hit on. But, you can't be a druid then.

The singles bar mentality will go away a bit, though some people look for it everywhere, I guess.

Most high level players will not mind questions. On most servers high end guilds will be one of three things (or some combination):

1.) Generally nice and helpful. Widely respected. Not seen as stuck up or pretentious.

2.) Busy, intense, and progression based (i.e. we want to be first).

3.) Assholes Who Could Not Get Into 1 or 2.

Feel around and see which guilds these are, and ask people from 1 or 2 your questions, or ask us here :)

I've never used the game to pick up anyone, nor even made the attempt, yet I know a few people that have and actually got married. Some of my RL friends including myself have met guild mates of ours. My friend Mike and Melissa have driven from Atlanta where we live to PA to see guild mates.

You know, it's wierd, when I 1st started playing EQ as newbie rangerette I got hit on quite a few times. But now, even on some of my low level characters I've started as twinks, gladly, I never get hit on. Is there some bizarre way that people know the real newbies or is it that I'm just more generally guarded about conversations straying too far from the game at hand? Probably the latter, but I do wonder sometimes =P

Sometimes it's hard to tell when people are telling the truth... when it comes to things about the game I consult websites and boards such as this to get the real goods. And, you will get to know who the knowledgeable ppl are on your server and if you choose to join a guild, in your guild. When it comes personal lives and such I insist on keeping it as friends playing a game... I don't want to have social drama/trauma via EQ. I do have RL EQ friends too but again, they are friends, no more & no less. It is really a matter of setting boundaries that are comfortable for you and making sure, if need be, that people know where they are. =)

I think perhaps take it all with a grain of salt. Eventually, you'll get a feel for who's less than honest, and who is a potential friend.

I'm female, my first toons were male, specifically because I didn't want harassment. Then I started Grenoble..female iksar (rare sight on my server but I love her!). The characters since, including my wizard main, are female, and harassment is rare. If I say I'm not interested, its usually enough to end it.

I've made a few very close friends in the game, but I was lucky...RL friends got me into EQ. If there is anything that doesn't feel right at all, anything...don't give out any info, no matter how trivial or general.

Lastly, in terms of helping...I don't mind helping with info. I won't help anyone who asks for gear or plat (not that a 70 wizard is usually carrying a good weapon for a level 18 pally anyway). But the best way maybe is to do /ooc. I've gotten random tells at some really awful times. And I've given help in /tells only for it to either be dragged into a 45-minute ordeal where I have to explain every little detail, step by step, or a "please come show me, take me there, show me which npc to talk to, what do I say to him, can you run me there"....

I'm just not quite that altruistic :shuffle:

I have always gotten "hit on" from time to time. I don't mind and I don't care if the person behind the toon is male or female. I'm not interested in meeting anyone from EQ irl. This is a game and my way to escape reality for a while, not drag reality into the game. I don't generally divulge stuff about the person behind Dari and I don't ask about other people. So when someone tells me "real" stuff about them, it doesn't matter to me if it's real or not-I'm never going to meet them anyway. So I don't worry about it.

I have on occassion when someone gets insistent on asking me personal stuff, told them my real name is Bob. (It's not-I really AM female). But I honestly don't care where someone lives, what their real name is, their age or gender. I care that they play their class well and treat me well. If you hold to this yourself, you'll soon find that others pick up on that and in general will treat you the same.


As to helping you, as has been pointed out higher level toons are probably likely to help. It largely depends on what you are asking and how you ask it. Asking for information or guidance is generally responded to well. Begging for money or gear is not. Demanding in /ooc or /shout for anything is usually not well received. Of course, you can always ask here too. The druid community is pretty helpful.

Good luck on your adventures in EQ. You'll find the experiences and people as varied as they are irl and generally you'll get out of it what you put into it. So enjoy!

One of my (straight male) friends ended up cybering another guy because both were pretending to be lesbians and played female toons. It was quite the entertainment when they both found out!

Yipes! Dayuna

For me the serverwide druid channel and the druidsgrove has a great community imho, but there is a small percentage who are annoying but thats anywhere ingame or IRL. If a person or a druid were to ask questions thats something I would try to answer.

Being a guy on a female toon, I guess my prespective is a bit different. I don't go out hitting on girls trying to get that "hawt lesbian cybor" and nor do I push people for RL info. If the topic comes up in conversation then I don't mind giving out general stuff, "Whereabout do you live?" answer: "North Carolina".

In general, my experience has been that friends in EQ can be RL friends as well. Two of my best friends now, I met in guild and found out they lived relatively close. I visit them as often as I can and we have a blast when we hang out. I doubt this is the case for most players, but I guess if you know someone for an extended period of time you can feel comfortable enough to meet them irl.

As for answering questions, usually if I'm not deeply involved in some complex raid script that's demanding 100% attention, I'll answer questions and help as much as I can. If I get tells for plat/gear, I'll ignore them. If someone asks for buffs, I'll do them unless I'm waiting to get rezzed back into battle. If someone wants a port, it really depends what's going on and the mood.

As a general rule, assume all female characters are played by men, unless proven otherwise... /cackle

Also, you'll find that having players be willing to help you in certian tasks is 100% about the way in which you ask for such help.

One note regarding being able to tell the truth and filter out the 'fake' players, be they impersonating a celebrity or a person 20 years older than they, and of a different gender... consider how you tell this in real life... it is much the same. A fifteen year old boy getting his jollies 'cybering' a female character who may or may not be played by a woman is going to behave diferently. It's been often obvious to me that most people are more true to themselves in their words and actions in the game than they are in real life...

Just have fun, be wary, and sometimes forgiving, and you'll do just fine in this grand social experiment gone horribly wrong that we call Everquest. I speak for many who can tell you that it is more fun than you can possibly imagine after only playing for a month...

/cackles

grand social experiment gone horribly wrong that we call Everquest.

That made me cackle irl =P Most of the community that plays are good people out to have fun killing stuff. Make some friends and hang with them and you'll get pretty far =P

Seems like most higher level players don't mind answering questions and such, at least in my experience.The thing to remember is that basic courtesy goes a LONG ways towards getting an answer to a question or getting ignored completely.

To me, a random /tell from a total stranger can sometimes seem like an intrusion of sorts.However, a /tell like "Heyas...sorry to bother you.If you have a spare moment is there any chance you could answer a quick druid question for me please?" seems to work wonders for getting answers when you need them.

Seems like most higher level players don't mind answering questions and such, at least in my experience.The thing to remember is that basic courtesy goes a LONG ways towards getting an answer to a question or getting ignored completely.

To me, a random /tell from a total stranger can sometimes seem like an intrusion of sorts.However, a /tell like "Heyas...sorry to bother you.If you have a spare moment is there any chance you could answer a quick druid question for me please?" seems to work wonders for getting answers when you need them.
I agree with that, but not something like /tell " Hi i need X amount of plat and or do you have any old gear? " For me would just ignore that one!!

There are mid or low level "family" guilds who are generally made up of casual players who may actually get their kicks out of helping newbies learn the game. By that I don't mean powerleveling you, which is generally bad form to ask of a stranger (begging for gear and plat too). But actually showing you new zones, assisting you in finding spells you need, that kind of thing. You can find out a lot about the guilds on your server by doing a google search on their names, and reading their guild boards.

To me, a true newbie is pure gold, and I really enjoy answering questions about EQ or showing them where to hunt, or even coming to give them buffs. Although we are all individuals, you can tell some things about a person by their guild. If you have positive experiences with someone in a particular guild, and find yourself stuck, try typing /who all Guildname and sending a tell to someone in that same guild. Try to choose people who are in the Plane of Knowledge, or some other non combat zone, so that you are less likely to catch them mid battle. Let them know that you have been helped by one of their guildies before, because most of us are proud of our guilds, and like to hear that kind of thing.

One suggestion I have for avoiding the drooling "hey baby wanna see my uber sword" types is to be aware that when you do put out a general call for help, if you sound like a pretty, innocent, young thing who needs a strong man to guide her through the woods, you are basically putting yourself out as prey. Send tells to female toons or non "studly" races, be polite but professional, and take any clumsy pickup lines with good humor and detachment. You will never get rid of them completely, it is part of the territory if you rolled a female woodelf druid. So just roll your eyes, and try not to play into it.

After over 5 years playing I can say some of my best friends are people I met on EQ. I even dated someone I met playing, and he was a wonderful person. But those friendships evolved from long periods of time playing together daily, relying on each other, sharing victories and defeats. They didn't happen overnight, and they developed over IM conversations, phone calls, and real life meetings. I would look at the people I meet on EQ as equivalent to people I meet in a bar. Most of them are likely to be players, and you really can't know who they are from their bar scene drunken persona. But over the years, you may end up socialising with them, and making a few good friends. At that point, the depth of the friendship is up to you. These days, I mostly group only with people I consider "real life" friends. What keeps me in EQ is its use as a platform for interacting with these people, not the game. But that definitely didn't happen in my first month of playing, and I would be highly suspicious of anyone who thought it should.

Good Luck and enjoy the game! :)

Hello

Thanks all

Those of you who have given advice about the peeps in the game thanks.
I have found a friend close to me in RL and in the game. So things are better now in EQ I am learning and you have helped very much.
I dont ask for "things" in the game just advice. I believe in earning the items and plats I get in the game but dont want to offend anyone who offfers the same so I don't refuse any. Same goes for buffs if someone offers I'll accept but I won't beg for them.

And Island I am okay here without your help. You dont need to follow me EVERYwhere I go. In and out of the game. JK LOL

Seems like most higher level players don't mind answering questions and such, at least in my experience.The thing to remember is that basic courtesy goes a LONG ways towards getting an answer to a question or getting ignored completely.

To me, a random /tell from a total stranger can sometimes seem like an intrusion of sorts.However, a /tell like "Heyas...sorry to bother you.If you have a spare moment is there any chance you could answer a quick druid question for me please?" seems to work wonders for getting answers when you need them.

That is me. If you can't make yourself interesting to reply to in your opening statement, I don't reply to you =p

I am more than happy to help if i get a tell saying may i ask you a question. Just remember, if people dont answer right away, they may have missed your tell or maybe raiding. Tells during high peak raiding time on your server may get overlooked unintentionally. I generally dont pay much attention to tells while im raiding =). Druidsgrove channel (when i remember to join it) is very helpful for any questions =)