Solice Farwalker
01-07-2003, 09:11 AM
Just received this in my email:
> > The Darwin Awards: the annual honor given to the person who did the gene
> > pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most
> > extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was
> > killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was
> > attempting to tip a free soda out of it. And this years nominees are
> > Semifinalist:
> >
> > #1
> > A young Canadian man,searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
> > because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
> > milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited
> > into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire
> > burned his house down, killing both him and his sister. Semifinalist
> >
> > #2
> > Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when
> > another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the
> > occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and
> > crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants
> > around their ankles. Semifinalist
> >
> > #3
> > A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use
> > octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax
> > County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of
> > these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the
> > other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the
> > pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators
> > think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of
> > the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the
> > trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause
> > of death was "major trauma." Semifinalist
> >
> > #4
> > A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
> > friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball.
> > The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate-was
> > hospitalized. Semifinalist
> >
> > #5
> > Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of
> > a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing
> > all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the
> > building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were
> > dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty
> > navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights
> > worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians
> > reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a
> > cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas
> > in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
> > Nothing was found of the technicians, but the llighter was virtually
> > untouched by the explosion.The technician suspected of causing the blast
> > had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers. Semifinalist
> >
> > AND THE WINNER IS.....
> > The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded
> > into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve.
> > The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.
> > The type car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured
> > out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow
> > gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off) actually a solid fuel
> > rocket that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra
> > "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy
> > Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road.
> > Then he attached the JATO unit to his car,jumped in, got up some speed
> > and fired off the JATO! The facts, as best as could be determined, are
> > that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance
> > of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established
> > by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The
> > JATO, if operating properly,would have reached maximum thrust within 5
> > seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and
> > continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver,
> > and soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces
> > usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners,
> > causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event.
> > However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5
> > miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes and
> > completely melted them-blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber
> > marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4
> > miles and impacting the face of the cliff at a height of 125 feet
> > leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the
> > driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone,
> > teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone
> > shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of
> > the steering wheel. Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron
> > nearly reached Mach I, attaining a ground speed of approximately 420
> > mph.
> >
> >
> >
> >
> > The Darwin Awards: the annual honor given to the person who did the gene
> > pool the biggest service by killing themselves in the most
> > extraordinarily stupid way. Last year's winner was the fellow who was
> > killed by a Coke machine which toppled over on top of him as he was
> > attempting to tip a free soda out of it. And this years nominees are
> > Semifinalist:
> >
> > #1
> > A young Canadian man,searching for a way of getting drunk cheaply,
> > because he had no money with which to buy alcohol, mixed gasoline with
> > milk. Not surprisingly, this concoction made him ill, and he vomited
> > into the fireplace in his house. This resulting explosion and fire
> > burned his house down, killing both him and his sister. Semifinalist
> >
> > #2
> > Three Brazilian men were flying in a light aircraft at low altitude when
> > another plane approached. It appears that they decided to moon the
> > occupants of the other plane, but lost control of their own aircraft and
> > crashed. They were all found dead in the wreckage with their pants
> > around their ankles. Semifinalist
> >
> > #3
> > A 22-year-old Reston, VA, man was found dead after he tried to use
> > octopus straps to bungee jump off a 70-foot railroad trestle. Fairfax
> > County police said Eric Barcia, a fast-food worker, taped a bunch of
> > these straps together, wrapped an end around one foot, anchored the
> > other end to the trestle at Lake Accotink Park, jumped and hit the
> > pavement. Warren Carmichael, a police spokesman, said investigators
> > think Barcia was alone because his car was found nearby. "The length of
> > the cord that he had assembled was greater than the distance between the
> > trestle and the ground," Carmichael said. Police say the apparent cause
> > of death was "major trauma." Semifinalist
> >
> > #4
> > A man in Alabama died from rattlesnake bites. It seems that he and a
> > friend were playing a game of catch, using the rattlesnake as a ball.
> > The friend, no doubt a future Darwin Awards candidate-was
> > hospitalized. Semifinalist
> >
> > #5
> > Employees in a medium-sized warehouse in west Texas noticed the smell of
> > a gas leak. Sensibly, management evacuated the building extinguishing
> > all potential sources of ignition; lights, power, etc. After the
> > building had been evacuated, two technicians from the gas company were
> > dispatched. Upon entering the building, they found they had difficulty
> > navigating in the dark. To their frustration, none of the lights
> > worked. Witnesses later described the sight of one of the technicians
> > reaching into his pocket and retrieving an object that resembled a
> > cigarette lighter. Upon operation of the lighter-like object, the gas
> > in the warehouse exploded, sending pieces of it up to three miles away.
> > Nothing was found of the technicians, but the llighter was virtually
> > untouched by the explosion.The technician suspected of causing the blast
> > had never been thought of as 'bright' by his peers. Semifinalist
> >
> > AND THE WINNER IS.....
> > The Arizona Highway Patrol came upon a pile of smoldering metal embedded
> > into the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve.
> > The wreckage resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it was a car.
> > The type car was unidentifiable at the scene. The lab finally figured
> > out what it was and what had happened. It seems that a guy had somehow
> > gotten hold of a JATO unit (Jet Assisted Take Off) actually a solid fuel
> > rocket that is used to give heavy military transport planes an extra
> > "push" for taking off from short airfields. He had driven his Chevy
> > Impala out into the desert and found a long, straight stretch of road.
> > Then he attached the JATO unit to his car,jumped in, got up some speed
> > and fired off the JATO! The facts, as best as could be determined, are
> > that the operator of the 1967 Impala hit the JATO ignition at a distance
> > of approximately 3.0 miles from the crash site. This was established
> > by the prominent scorched and melted asphalt at that location. The
> > JATO, if operating properly,would have reached maximum thrust within 5
> > seconds, causing the Chevy to reach speeds well in excess of 350 mph and
> > continuing at full power for an additional 20-25 seconds. The driver,
> > and soon to be pilot, most likely would have experienced G-forces
> > usually reserved for dog fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners,
> > causing him to become insignificant for the remainder of the event.
> > However, the automobile remained on the straight highway for about 2.5
> > miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes and
> > completely melted them-blowing the tires and leaving thick rubber
> > marks on the road surface, then becoming airborne for an additional 1.4
> > miles and impacting the face of the cliff at a height of 125 feet
> > leaving a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the
> > driver's remains were not recoverable; however, small fragments of bone,
> > teeth and hair were extracted from the crater and fingernail and bone
> > shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of
> > the steering wheel. Epilogue: It has been calculated that this moron
> > nearly reached Mach I, attaining a ground speed of approximately 420
> > mph.
> >
> >
> >
> >