View Full Forums : The Cleric Conspiracy


Lyanne
07-19-2003, 05:12 AM
Guildie posted this from cleric boards I believe:

electrae
Ragefire Camper

I think we can finally reveal the truth now.
The following is meant to be humourous and tongue in cheek.


Clerics, Druids, and other assorted priests,

I think it's time for the cleric community to come clean with you.

*Iron bars slam down on the windows. The troll guards bar the doors.*

As you know, clerics have lead dull, sheltered lives up until now. We've often been slaves to a thing called the Cheal Chain. It's a task we dread and dislike more than anything. Like changing diapers, it stunk but someone had to do it.

But one amongst us, Belladon Evilploy, had a dirty little idea. He came up with a most evil plan to free us of this slavery. Let's pawn this off onto the druids! He talked to a few friends, they talked to their friends and soon we were all in agreement.

But we knew if we tried to force this off onto someone else they would balk, and rightfully so! No one would willingly ask to be put into the most boring yet stressful position ever devised by gamekind. So, we recruited a "mole" to pose as a druid and plant the seeds of desire. This "druid" said that druids needed a better heal and a way to be useful on raids. And of course, the other druids began to echo this sentiment until all the druid voices, except a very few wiley druids who somehow saw through our clever ruse, chanted this in "harmony".

And to lend credibility the clerics all complained that this heal would end their careers and make them unwanted in Norrath. In reality they were all planning long, extended AFK's in Erud's Crossing drinking Tumpy Tonics.

The gods could not long ignore the ruckus down below so they granted druids their, by now, heartfelt wish.

*Sound of clicking as a ball and chain is fastened to skinny druid ankles*

Now you may have envisioned that you'd be patch healers, or rampage healers, skillfully dodging around and finding the weak and wounded and restoring them to vitality, while delivering blasts of natural energy to the nether regions of the enemy. But no! You see, we're all packed, ready for our AFK and we leave our raids in your capable hands.

We have written up some very nice guides on how to run a cheal chain, there's lots of different ways. I'm sure you'll find your own ways that suit your style. Take good care of the tanks and if you have any problems be sure to pray to Tunare or Karana and we'll check for messages and get back to you.

Have fun! Toodles!

*Puts on a gaudy, flowered Caftan, Raybans, flip-flops, trades in the res stick for a Tumpy Tonic served in a hollow coconut with a paper umbrella. Tells the porter to bring the drum of sunscreen (high-elf, burns easily)*

Thought it was worth a few chuckles :D