(simple game, answer which option you'd go for, then create a set of options of your own)

Death is not an option:

sex with Rush Limbaugh

or

sex with your sibling

Oh god! Dr. Kevorkian where are you when I need you? I guess I'd choose Rush Limbaugh. Are you sure death isn't an option?

Death is not an option:

You get notified that the IRS is going to closely audit 7 years worth of tax return and they ask for all your receipts.

Or

You must give birth to a 15 pound baby (yes, even if you're a man)

IRS, definitely. I have 4 boxes filled with receipts/statements/etc. If they really want to sort through all that ****, its all theirs! :)

Death is not an option:

Go blind.

Or

Go deaf.

Go deaf. You can always turn up the bass and feel the music, but being blind, I'd never be able to play a video game again.

1. Eat a dog poo bonbon (think American Wedding)
- or -
2. Swallow a live grasshopper.

Go deaf. I'm already halfway there. After the surgeries I had 2 weeks ago, the first 2-3 days I was totally deaf. It's a very isolative world, but in some regards, it was nice to finally be able to hear myself think.

Death is not an option:

Lick the bellybutton of a large hairy truckdriver

or

eat a can of crisco with a spoon.

I would have to be forced to choose the belly button on the fatty cause the very THOUGHT of eating a can of crisco with a spoon makes me think chundery thoughts...

Death is not an option:

Accidentally go to school and sit halfway through first period before you realize you forgot to put on either pants OR underpants...

or

Rip a big nasty, underwear dirtying, roll the windows down in the car fart...in the middle of your very first kiss...

I remember one day in the 4th grade, I was wearing a skirt to school and I realized about 10am that I *had* forgotten to wear underwear. O.o!