View Full Forums : Murphy's Law of Everquest

11-30-2001, 02:26 PM
OMG this is *so* funny... probably because it's all so true!

(Note - Stolen from a link on the FV board to the Druzzil board who said they... "stole it from a message board from a guy who stole it from another message board from another guy who stole it from Ranger's Glade"):

Murphy's Laws of Everquest
Everything is camped.
Your corpse will always end up halfway inside a mountain, nowhere in sight of the roads, or under a tree.
The skelton in front of you is there to distract you from the kodiak approaching behind you.
If your attack is going really well, you are in an ambush.
If the MOBs are within range, so are you.
The tougher MOBs invariably attack on two occasions--when they're ready and when you're not.
One MOB is never enough, but two can be entirely too many.
The MOB is not retreating; it's just going to get its friends.
The MOBs you never encounter when armed and buffed always appear during your corpse run.
The MOB you've been camping for hours always spawns 18 seconds after you leave.
Teamwork is essential; it gives the MOBs other people to attack.
Don't ever be the first, don't ever be the last, and don't ever volunteer to do anything.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
The greatest danger to your group is a Paladin with a map and a plan.
When the going gets tough, the tank goes linkdead.
A group without healers or bandages is not a group for long.
Your buffs will fade when you need them the most.
Whenever you have plenty of mana, you never miss.
Whenever you are low on mana, every spell fizzles.
When in doubt, gate.
There is not a single bathroom in all of Norrath.
The Armor Class of a piece of armor is inversely proportional as to how good it looks on you.
The item that you want the most drops the rarest.
The item that you want the most is out of your price range.
The item that you want the most was sold at an auction while you were offline.
The item that you want the most was picked up by some moron who didn't know the definition of "No Drop".
The item you'll need tomorrow is No Rent.
The item you accidentally drop will be the most valuable/powerful/important item you carry.
If you can afford it, it's not for sale.
If you want two of them, it's a Lore item.
If you want to sell it, it's a No Drop item.
The High Quality Bear Skin drops every 28 days, the same schedule as PMS. Coincidence?
Even greens kill.
Backstab means never having to say you're sorry.
A bow without arrows seems awfully heavy all of a sudden.
Merchants are perfectly capable of kicking tail and taking names.
Trains have the right of way.
If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.
The guards are never there when you need them.
Misuse of a combine button in a hurry = highly colorful language.
The time it takes to upload the newest patch is directly proportional to your eagerness to log on.
No two people have ever agreed on a single, precise definition of a twink.
Never forget that your newbie weapon was crafted by the lowest bidder.
A roleplayer drinks to increase his alcohol tolerance; an idiot does it in the Kelethin treetops.
Having a tenth of a bubble of health left is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.
Gnome wizards are proof positive that size does not matter.
The greatest mystery in Norrath is how NPCs figure out what religion you are just by looking at you.
Every shaman on Norrath at one point in his or her life has done the pig joke when someone asked for a SOW.
Only twelve people in all of Norrath are truly happy with their last names.
The last bubble takes forever to fill.
It is somehow discouraging to realize that Qeynos is "SonyEQ" spelled backwards.

Let me add my own:
When someone writes a list of wonderful EQ laws like this, someone called Golsec will soon save it and use it for taglines in his sig.

11-30-2001, 03:52 PM
Hehe, this is great; thanks for posting it :-)

Ellendilh Silvermist
11-30-2001, 04:00 PM
Ahahahaha That was fun!

thanks ;-)

11-30-2001, 06:25 PM
=) When in trouble, gate always collapses
Evac goes off and leaves you behind. P

ok, my two.

11-30-2001, 06:40 PM
Oiy I swear my only gate collapses after about level 30 were in times of need :/

11-30-2001, 08:52 PM
"The greatest danger to your group is a Paladin with a map and a plan."

ROFL!!!! God knows I love paladins, but this so SO TRUE!

"For every idea, there is an opposite and disproportionate criticism."

More depressing, but probably the most true of all of them.

withered druid of 55 seasons

11-30-2001, 10:51 PM
I love it :)

Not the most funny ones of those are the ones about the items, but they are soooo true, actually... all of them are *nods*

Naathan Kaine
12-01-2001, 10:53 AM
Here is mine:

When the nifty new expansion with all the new graphics and zones come out, your ISP decides to shut down all its accounts until it gets its chit together (aka @home)

ARGHHH, god, 3 days til release and this crap happens.

Naathan Kaine lvl 60 Assassin
Demodred Spiritstalker Lvl 56 Preserver.
Clan Icewind
El Zeb

12-01-2001, 02:19 PM
Yeah, that sucks Naathan :( Seems a lot are going to be (have been?) affected by that one....

A few I thought of myself whilst playing today...
* The boats always leave 5 seconds before you get to the end of the dock.
* Just when you start getting successful with fishing, and thinking "Hey, this fishing is actually fun!", the boat arrives again.
* The best way to camp the orc runner is to sit up the left hand wall in Butcherblock, near the zone coming from Greater Faydark, and say to your guild "I should be safe here, now I can participate in the meeting without interruptions"
* Never meditate on the West Commons sand area if you're on a fairly new server, and think "I should be okay here for a minute or two, that Hill Giant went in the other direction"

12-01-2001, 02:43 PM
Never Say Oh look, I wonder where this well leads...
Just when you think Permafrost is safe, you aggro the Ice Gaints.
Just when the camp becomes boring, do you pull to many.
When the raid is going well, a Dragon/God/etc Wipes you all out and camps your bodies.
All the Uber gear drops in pickup groups, yet not in mass raids.
You see a rare mob on track, run over to him, Just to see him killed by someone else.
You believe Teleporting into Cazic-Thule, will actually *save* you.


12-03-2001, 08:03 AM
hehe, good stuff.

a few more.

Sup. Camo will always drop at the worst time. And will always break as soon as you take your eyes off the screen or leave the room. Corollary: there is always a high level mob next to you when it does happen.

The girlfriend will invariably plan something/expect help at the worst possible time.

The phone always rings as soon as you cast your first spell, never while you're medding after a kill.

12-03-2001, 08:20 AM
The raid you've been wanting to go on for months finally gets scheduled for the same night as your mother-in-laws birthday dinner.

GM events where you could have gotten something cool always happen without you knowing till it's it's too late and you never find them. GM events where you are going to get wasted as soon as you zone in always happen without you knowing till it's too late and you can never avoid them.

12-03-2001, 08:24 AM
"The greatest danger to your group is a Paladin with a map and a plan."

In my case it's a warrior, my son:

Swiggin tells the group, "I've got an idea. brb"

Accipiter tells the group, "Oh, boy."

57 Enchanter
52 Druid

12-03-2001, 07:56 PM
I guess I'm one of twelve who love their last name.

Lotharun Voyager,
58th Druid of Bristlebane

12-03-2001, 07:59 PM
I like my last name too ;)

Sinbark Shadoweaver
12-03-2001, 08:03 PM
LOL, and I thought I was the only one on most of those. Very well done ) But I do like my Surname.

Sinbark Shadoweaver,