View Full Forums : since EQ is over, i have joined The Cult Of Bob

harvey the dog
04-09-2004, 11:51 AM
so no more EQ for me. i decided to pick a new hobby, and The Cult Of Bob has caught my attention and i think i shall join. don't remember if links work here but here is the website.

and here are the rules, in case you were wondering.

What do the cult of Bob do?
The answer to that is not very much. The best plans are always the simple ones, and that is why the cult of Bob is so perfect. As a member of the cult of Bob your role is simple:

You will, at all convenient opportunities chant the words "We are all Bob" many times, when ever you think you can get away with it.

You will attempt to convert many other people into chanting with you. First they will think it's funny, then they will get addicted to it. Then you should direct them to this page, where they will become a member of the Bob cult.

You should, in time, lose as many braincells as possible. Drinking in excess, going to heavy metal clubs, or banging your head against the wall is a good way of achieving this. The cult of Bob should ideally be very stupid, and unified in their mission of chanting "we are all Bob".

You will sacrifice food to the bob god. The Bob god likes cheese, spam, salami and alcohol. There's no official ritual to the sacrifices - just shove the food down your gob. Eating hamsters is a good way of worshipping your god, see here for a good introduction to hamster eating etiquette.

Praying takes too much time and effort, so it'd just be nice if you thought about the Bob god now and again, who goes under the name of Bob. Bob is a female, but that does not matter, as the cult of Bob is not gender specific. All races, genders, and animals may join with us, to create an army of Bobs, united in our cause of discriminating against no-one, except non-bobs who deserve everthing they get.

You should be happy and friendly to your fellow Bob clan. The cult of Bob will be unified in our mission, and any one with a bad word to say about another Bob will be tortured and slowly garrotted. No-one is to discriminate against another bob, no matter their age, colour, race, sexuality, features, or dubious smell. We WILL have utopia, by any means necessary.

If your family persuades you against being a member of the cult of Bob, you should KILL them, because they are WRONG. However, realise that this is your own choice, and the cult of Bob takes no responsibility for any murdered family. We cannot pay legal fees for you either, as the cult of Bob is a spiritual cult, not a material one, i.e. we have no money. Due to this reason, we cannot provide members with free t-shirts or keyrings either, sorry about that.

harvey the dog
04-09-2004, 11:52 AM
We are all Bob! We are all Bob! We are all Bob! We are all Bob!

04-10-2004, 05:38 PM
Kool Aid anyone? :D

**On another note... after reading paragraph 4 I am convinced that the SOE server hamsters have become "Bob-bites".

04-10-2004, 06:02 PM

04-10-2004, 09:55 PM
Aw gawd. The smoking pipe figure. I see that bugger almost 24/7 plastered on bus stops, shop walls etc. Sad sad sad!

04-10-2004, 10:29 PM
Better than the Severed Head of Arnold Palmer, you must admit...

harvey the dog
04-11-2004, 02:33 PM
We are all Bob! We are all Bob! We are all Bob! We are all Bob!

Harvey The Dog
a.k.a. "Bob"

Gunny Burlfoot
04-12-2004, 02:16 AM
Er, wait, back when I was going to conventions in the late 80s, early 90s, this bizarre nutty thing was sandwiched in between the computer gaming room and the filk singing room. Back then, it was called the church of slack.

Same thing I suppose. It has the same image anyways.

They have their own cult now? Ah well, bound to happen. :crazy: