View Full Forums : Someone Tranq Shot Me, Please?

03-10-2010, 11:33 AM
My husband and I formed our own guild last make a long story short - no one stays in the guild, we can't raid successfully, there's a lot of drama and the pressure of trying to "fix it" has made me hate logging in.

I tried following all of the advice Skwid and a few of you gave on improving the guild - ie, promoting officers, simplifying things, kicking out the baddies, etc etc and was either met with huge resistance on any of the changes we tried to implement or had people gquit or start drama over it. As far as officers- either they were never on, didn't help with anything, or decided that "being an officer was ruining their fun" and quit the guild.

As I'm sure you guys know, running a guild is a team effort. I couldn't find officers that were willing to DO anything, except one but RL happened and he hasn't been on in weeks...Any time I offered an officer position- you could hear crickets chirping in /gchat. I couldn't even bribe people to do it. I couldn't find struggled to try and do it alone and it made me resent my own guild to some degree. Totally unhealthy.

I was feeling intense pressure to try and improve things for the guild, get them active, and trying to recruit and create a workable raid schedule...trying to retain members and stimulate a positive, fun and active atmosphere in the guild...I failed I guess and drama started taking over...and tragically, I just ...gave up. I didn't WANT the job anymore and really started to resent the fact that I seemed to be the only one that cared and was willing to invest my time in making things better.

I found another, more active, guild and applied. I joined them Monday evening on my druid.

Here's where all the guilt comes in...My mom and daughter both have toons they tinker with in the old guild. There are a few people who came into the old guild that I think are sweet and awesome folks. I feel bad for taking my main out and separating myself from the few cool people from the old guild, but I felt like I needed to break away from it and at least try to see some new content and find a way to start enjoying the game again...sans guild pressure/dram.

Obviously, the departure of my druid from the old guild has caused a lot of unrest and resentment toward me (My husband left the guild on his druid also- but since he had been working nights anyway, no one really got to know him that well.) People feel like I abandoned the guild and gave up on them. There's a whole lot of drama going on right now...

Now, I realize that this is just a game and that getting this upset over a "game" is silly, but there are other real people involved here...and it makes me really sad to think that they feel like I've let them down or ditched them. I just want to enjoy my time in game, though.

I still have all of my alts in the old guild- including my 80 DK. The only toon I've removed is my druid. I haven't really talked to the old guildies about why I moved on with my druid...and some of them don't even realize that I have taken her out yet.

Should I take some time to explain why my husband and I left?

Any advice on how to cope?

We all know that Des is an extremely sensitive, softy of a this wouldn't even phase some folks- it bothers me really badly. I was ready to move on...just wasn't ready for all the baggage that came with it and all the /pst's about how I've gone and bailed on the guild "when they needed me most"...

I just want to be a happy bear, so I'm hoping someone has advice...or maybe iceblock or something...tranq shot? You know...whatever works.

BTW- not trying to sound all emo and whiny with the post either. I'm not sure how to really express exactly what's on my mind without sounding like a weenie though lol

03-10-2010, 05:52 PM
I hear it. Running a raiding guild or being an officer is unquestionably a job, and it comes with a lot of stress and responsibilities. My old raiding guild would frequently (and not really intentionally) rotate out leaders and officers as people got frustrated and stepped down.

I don't really know what advice to offer, though.

03-11-2010, 09:28 AM
I think things will be okay. I raided for the first time with the new guild that my druid is in and it was a lot of fun. We got Marrow down on 25 but couldn't beat the timer on Lady Deathwhisper...and even though we wiped a few times, everyone was still having a good time.

I mean 25/25 of the raiders in attendance were all from CoE, which was amazing in and of itself! In the old guild, we were lucky if 3/10 or 5/25 were our own guild members.

The atmosphere in the new guild is absolutely beautiful and I'm in love with them! They have everything going for them that I tried to get going in Ascendants and failed to create. Hanging out with them and raiding with really opened my eyes.

They have this weird thing in their guild...I think people refer to it as "FUN"...something that had completely disappeared from Ascendants when people stopped showing up to raids and started being miserable with one another. I think once people start to resent one another...there's not much hope left. And in the guild my husband and I created there was a lot of bitterness - the folks that showed up to every raid on time would get frustrated with the ones who showed up late or unprepared...or not at all. It got impossible to manage the guild alone and no one ever wanted to step in and help =(

I think Skwid can attest to the fact that I tried as hard as I could to make things right in Ascendants - I spent endless days talking to him about ways to fix it and turn things around. Everything I tried ended up failing miserably because people just didn't want to pitch in for the benefit of the guild or they argued with me about the changes I was trying to change or the rules we tried to enforce. And even reading what you wrote, Yrys, you had multiple officers and leaders there...if they got frustrated someone else took that spot. Whether you had the same officers from day one or had more than one person trying to recruit, schedule and lead raids, and maintain sanity and a good atmosphere in the guild. In Ascendants, it was just me. I was left trying to make sure folks were getting geared, recruiting, scheduling raids, trying to lead them, trying to resolve all the little conflicts we'd run into...

I think Ascendants could have been a really great guild if I had been able to find reliable officers to divide up the workload with. You know? Officers 1 and 2 deal with raid scheduling/leading, Officer 3 and 4 recruit and try out new potential members...

That sort of thing. I think dividing up the responsibilities would have saved the guild. But if I managed to find someone I thought would be a good officer, they'd either quit the guild or find other ways to make them unfit for the role =( (ie- getting themselves saved for a raid that the guild had scheduled and they had signed up for, being miserable to guild members...etc). I don't know. I feel bad for leaving, but I spent months trying to get things going with them and it just wasn't going anywhere.

I think the question I'm battling with is: Am I wrong for moving on to a guild that allows me to enjoy the game and my druid again, versus sticking it out with Ascendants and trying to find some way to fix things there?

03-16-2010, 11:21 AM
A full week in the new guild has convinced me that I should have moved on a LONG time ago =)

I am one happy little tree!

03-18-2010, 01:51 PM
nice one Des, only just spotted this here although ofc saw it on LBT the other days.

u did the right thing. u did your best, u did not get enough support and you moved on to enjoy the game whch is what everyone is entitled to do.

move your alts out of the old guild and just get a fresh start. the people you left behind wont like it, so leaving alts in there is prob not a good idea.

and you dont need the grief.

tis a game.

no level your tauren druid to 80 and join me in The Way of the Oomkin (TM Kheldar 2010 :))

03-19-2010, 04:10 PM
Twětch (my baby Tauren Druid), unfortunately, is a project that's been pushed back a little bit. Sorry Skwid...I definitely plan on leveling him, but for the time being, I'm having a lot of fun with CoE.

I haven't yet moved the alts out of the old guild. I wanted to make sure things with CoE were going to work out well - especially for the long term- before I make any huge moves. I'm pretty sure I'll be happy with them, but given the amount of guild hopping I did over the past year...I'd rather be sure before I move the rest of the clan. Also, mom's toons are still in the old guild- so keeping my alts there makes it a little easier for us to connect in game. =)

Even just having my main in a guild where I don't have to worry about guild "administration" duties has definitely refreshed me immensely. =)